March + April Wrap-up

I finally have the time to write. It's unbelievable. April had been about work, deadline, work, deadline, and work, deadline to the point I started dreaming about numbers. It was a nightmare. I thought I would have the time to start reading and writing again after the 15th, but there was another deadline. It was tiring as hell. 

I thought ten days would be enough to focus wholly on work, but alas, life doesn't always work the way I planned it. So sadly, I wrote nothing this April. I also didn't get to reach my goal to finish the draft of ULF2 last March. That's another failure I don't want to dwell on right now. On the brighter side, I wrote 12,934 that month, and I'm going to push through this May after I get some things in order. 

As with my readings, I only managed to finish 4 books last March and 1 book this April, which I had started back in March. Seeing my slow progress is a little depressing if I'm being honest. No. I'm just generally sad, and that's sad as well. It's a messed up cycle, and I hate it. I don't want to be sad anymore, but if I'm not sad, I'm angry. Why is life so difficult? 

Anyway, enough with that depressing shit. Here's the list of the books I finished. I can still recall most of the plot.

I don't know why I couldn't finish this back in February, and I was only a few pages away from the end. This book is more helpful for technicality and how to make your manuscript more readable. There're tons of exercises at the end of each chapter. 

I love Kasie West. I think I've read most of her books and I enjoyed most of them. This was pretty good too. A bit predictable but the scenes between the two main characters were memorable. I enjoyed this more than I expected. 

This was my cheat book for March because I started this book as an audiobook last year. I didn't get to finish it because my subscription expired. The pace of the story picked up after the middle. I will definitely get the second book. If you're into fantasy, elemental magic, princesses, monsters, queer stories, go and get this book. The author is a Filipino. 

This is by another Filipino author. I've read the first book of this standalone trilogy years back, and I'm regretting I didn't purchase the last book. I kinda want to read it now because it's a second chances trope. I enjoyed this book more than the first book.

I regretted not buying the ebook when it went on sale. I would have finished this book earlier if I bought it. I don't think I'll ever buy another paperback unless it's for a collection purposes or I loved the book so much I must have another copy. I finished the first book of the series last year, and this is the continuation of it. I never got the first series that came before this (warning: spoiler ahead), and I was a little glad that I didn't because the male protag died in the first book of this continuation series.

That's it. I've written and read so little. On the brighter side, I didn't miss any deadlines. I completed the requirements needed. I've reread Fruits Basket and re-watched Hospital Playlist. It's kinda sad that I still couldn't watch anything new, but the Game Caterer's content on Youtube is enough for me now. Another great thing is that there's a new New Journey to The West show on Viu. It's a small happiness in the void of sadness. That's all I need.

Taking things again on a more personal note, I had a haircut after two long years. I hadn't had my hair that long since forever. Now that I'm remembering it, I did it because the weather turned hotter and as a sign of a new beginning. That's two months ago, and my hair is touching my neck again. I'm torn between keeping it short and growing it out. I had the taste of freedom and it was sweet. Sometimes it's cold, but that's easily remediable. 

The dilemma of my haircut could be compared to my situation now. I was vague the last time I spoke of something personal. I'm always hesitant to speak of things that are not related to books, shows, and music, but I'll say this. How could someone lie and hurt someone they claimed to be in love with? I can't seem to find an answer to that question other than it wasn't really love. 

I'm still in disbelief. No. Don't mistake me. I know. I believe it. The pain I feel is the proof of that. It's just I didn't expect they were capable of that. All of that, and it was like nothing. How could they look at someone they claimed to love and lie and act like they didn't just profess their love and happiness with someone else? My brain couldn't wrap around that. My mind refuses to compute. 

How? How could they do that? 

I actually have an answer to that. I'm just not ready to accept the answer yet. Saying that out loud or writing that rather was sort of mind opening. I know. I'm just not ready. I guess the healing begins now.

Please be healthy and keep safe. It's okay to be sad and not be okay. Things will pass, and things will get better.